Bloody Nails and Broken Hearts [Open]

[BENJAMIN KANST]

It seemed like yesterday he'd arrived in this place. Or maybe, it was yesterday. Yeah, he was losing it. Well, that was why he was here. The public was convinced he had lost it. Ben sighed at the thought and slid further down in his chair. The TV was on but Ben wasn't paying attention to what was on. He just needed to noise to keep him distracted from his own thoughts. It wasn't working so well though. Everything just kept coming back. Flashes of his wife, his son. His friend's last dying words haunted him in his dreams. Tell Sandy, I love her. And Ben had told his friend's fiancee and she had forgiven Ben for letting her fiancee die. He'd made so many mistakes in his life and now in this place, he couldn't.

So sitting there in that chair, he felt safe from the rest of the world. They were safe from him. Ben pulled his knees up, hugging them tightly against his chest. He rested his chin on his knees and stared blankly at the TV. All he wanted was the flashbacks, the guilt, everything to go away. Ben rubbed his eyes and yawned but refused to let his eyes closed. He was exhausted but he knew if he fell asleep, the nightmares would come back. And he didn't want to deal with those. So he wouldn't sleep, he'd much rather just wait until he passed out. Then he wouldn't dream. Still the moving images on the TV had a tiring effect. Slowly his eyes started to close and he was beginning to drift off.

The sound of gunshots suddenly caused Ben to jerk awake. He let out a small yelp and sat up straight. Looking around wildly, Ben soon realized nothing was wrong. He slumped down, his head buried in his hands. His heart pounded against his chest and he tried to control his rapid breathing. Ben leaned back in his seat and sighed, running his hands across the light stubble across his chin. He looked around but it seemed no one cared about his little spaz. It was far too normal around here. "Pull yourself together." Ben muttered to himself. He just had to keep reminding himself that this was his prison now, this was his home.

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

fingers clamped around her throat, squeezing the breath from her lungs as they did so, they weren’t some attacker’s digits though but her own. her own pale hands were wrapped firmly around her throat trying to control herself, her breathing had become rapid and she had little else to do but try and force a sense of serenity over herself, if that meant cutting off her breath altogether then she would at least attempt it. tugging her hands away, a sudden gasp of air gratefully filled her lungs and she slumped back into her bed. grey eyes glared at the ceiling with bitter distaste as she caught her breath. she hadn’t been in this dump a whole day yet and already it was getting to her. only last night was she walked into the building and shown her room, it was nothing different to the last place however now she could tell between staff who had read her file and those who hadn’t. anyone who had no knowledge of her past simply smiled at her in pity or ignored her altogether, for those who were privy to such information she got glares of disgust, even hatred. It filled her with a dreadful warmth that she was able to murder one of their kind, they were a rotten species of probing folk and they deserved far worse.

still, the girl wasn’t idiotic enough to believe each member of staff were the same, she would give each a chance before loathing them fully with a passion. pushing her tired form out of bed, she slowly stood, her frame slightly weakened by it’s lack of food yet she was in no rush to get any. the empty burn of her stomach was distracting her for now from this place and until she warmed to it’s bare walls, her stomach would receive nothing. her fingers rubbed against worn out eyes leaving them reddened, she appeared as if she had been crying though kat couldn’t remember the last time she cried. Her feline like figure stretched out clicking far too many bones than would be considered healthy but finally the corners of her lips were tugged up into a half hearted smile. confident that at least her hair was half tidy, she was ready enough to venture out, the girl clearly didn’t give two shits about what those about the asylum thought of her. her figure dressed in the clothes she had worn to bed, a white wife beater and a pair of plain grey underwear.

she had no sense of decency, despite the odd glances she got as she padded down the hallways she walked with a certain degree of pride, you would have never thought she was even aware of her half clothed state. kat had been around this sort for too long, maybe it they had a brain cell between them she would make a little effort in befriending a few however she had already prejudged the lot of them from the sheer amount of terrifying screams she had heard during the night. It was louder than her last asylum. she needed someplace quiet to refuge whilst she gathered up her scattered mind, her thin form by appearance was more lethargic than usual. after her previous attack in her previous home she had been kept in solitary and since she wasn’t exactly miss popular among the staff they neglected to provide her food most days. fuckers. pushing open the door to the lounge it seemed quiet and by christ it was. the only other figure in there being a lone male, she could handle that at least for now.

slumping into a chair that provided her with enough distance from him yet the ability to face him, her legs were tugged up to her chest. for comfort sake, though it did make her appear a little insecure. colourless flesh wasn’t best under the harsh lighting of the room and grey eyes had to blink slowly a few times to adjust to the lighting. these places were always fitted with such terrible lighting. it made her crave the darkness of solitary. moments of silence followed, her fingers again brought up to her face to rub her eyes, her nails dirty and her fingers themselves ghastly and boney. brushing her hair from her eyes she then drew her gaze towards her current company, just for a split second before she withdrew it and glanced up at the ceiling, light making her eyes blur painfully.

(hope you don't mind me joining, saves me the effort of forcing myself to think up an opening post! haha)

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

His attempts at reassuring himself everything would be okay didn't really work. Ben sat back into his original position, slumped in the chair and barely paying attention to the TV. There really wasn't anything to do around here. And it wasn't like he was going to try to make friends. Half the people were too crazy to even attempt to make some conversation and the other half were too psychotic to give a fuck. Though it would make for interesting conversation. They could compare stories of how they killed other people. Yay, fun. Ben scoffed at his own thought. It was absolutely ridiculous. All he had to look forward to were his therapy sessions. Maybe the drugs would be enough to make it all go away. But didn't they all think that? It seemed to be how the system worked. If they couldn't fix you, then they'd pump drugs and just see which one seemed to work.

That was probably why there were so many zombie children these days. It seemed parents and teachers just needed to put all the kids on ADD meds. Nothing better than an obedient child. Damn, he really did go off on tangents sometimes. Now the whole talk about children just led back to memories of his son. And the vicious circle of thoughts would continue. He shut his eyes for a few seconds and images of his son played in the brief moment of darkness. A piercing scream tore through the air and Ben covered his ears, curling up to try to block the sound. It was followed by a whimpering cry. "Daddy?" A laugh. A streak of light brown hair. The feeling of the sun. A light kiss. "NO!" The memories stopped the second he opened his eyes.

It took a few seconds for him to realize where he was. Goddamn psychiatric hospital. He hated the legal system. Ben would much rather be in a normal prison. Though, pleading insane did keep him from the death penalty. His stupid lawyer had suggested it and Ben didn't have much of a choice either. After all, the army couldn't send one of their own to prison for murder, it would look bad on their records. Like anyone actually cared about Ben. The entire trial had been one big lie to appease the public. He'd practically become the fucking poster boy for PTSD. Oh and the antiwar activists had a field day when the story broke. Ben was just another casualty of this terrible war to them. They would blab statistics about how many soldiers committed suicide and on and on and on. Ben wanted to kill everyone of them. They didn't even feel grateful that he had seen men die so they could spew their rants on peace.

He hardly noticed when another person joined him in the room. Ben was looking down at his hands one moment, trying to stop them from shaking. The next, there was a girl sitting across from him. He jumped back and muttered a string of curses. Ben looked her over quickly and judged her to be late teens, maybe early twenties. No wonder she'd startled him, she looked like a ghost. Well, more like someone who'd had a little too much fun with drugs but she still looked terrible. And her interesting choice in attire didn't go unnoticed either. Ben raised an eyebrow but decided it was none of his business. He wasn't in position to be judging anybody.

The silence between them got awkward real fast though. Ben looked up and in that split second of eye contact, neither of them could pretend to ignore each other. It didn't look like she'd be talking anytime soon though. Ah, what the hell. He didn't have anything to lose. Well unless she up and tried to beat him to death with the chair. "Ben Kanst." He stuck his hand out in a friendly gesture. Yeah, he'd probably just made it twenty times more awkward but he really did not care at this point.

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

it was awkward but generally when kat was evolved it was always awkward. despite this she glanced at him just a few times, it made a difference to her usual outright blatant starring but she was out of place, out of her comfort zone. though in her opinion every place like this was exactly the same, she had only had experience in one other but the general feel what the same. it was always comforting when you knew a few of the troubled teenagers about, knew who to avoid, who it was fun to poke at and who she could get away with tormenting. kat could be a reckless individual, or at least appear to be yet each action was carried out thoughtfully, with precision. her current lack of ease in the place probably made her a little safer to be around than normal, for now at least. the smartest thing to probably do at that current time would be to leave her to it and just hope this awkward state of unknowing would last longer than expected. her frame was positioned slightly too far forward on the edge, teetering almost as she threatened to either run off or lunge. her body language though curled delicately into itself making the latter less likely or at least less apparent.

she had no intentions of making conversation, it just wasn’t the done thing where kat was concerned though unless insulted or somehow irked she didn’t like to outright ignore anyone speaking to her. just a simple introduction didn’t have the ability to piss her off though she looked almost confused, startled by the male’s gesture. he was offering her a hand shake? her gaze, still void of much life and blurred from her attempts to glare down the lights, cautiously searched his features. it had been a matter of years since someone had offered her such a meek gesture, a friendly one dare she stretch it to. it took moments for her to remember that the poor folk here didn’t know her, they knew nothing about her and she had no reputation to follow her around and warn people from getting too close. Instead of snapping at his hand like rumour would have had it, she reached forward rather elegantly and took his hand. scrawny fingers made contact for only mere seconds before she withdrew though surprisingly a light smile tugged at her usually impassive expression. it wasn’t even smug or malicious as it usually would be but entertained by the simplest of gestures, it was alien.

“kat.” did he seek anything more than an introduction in return? at least she was being polite for a change but the man had made effort to be polite to her and so she returned the favour. Introducing yourself to kat was never the best of moves though, the girl would take an interest in someone and not let it go until satisfied. her expression was one of curiosity. she hadn’t expected the lone boy to be capable of speaking to her let alone being so normal and showing such sanity. he was either a doctor who thought himself clever to sit among the patients and…mingle or he was actually quite good at covering up his sickness. katrina was absolutely shit at pretending to be sane though she could come across it, until she displayed such sickening traits or her morbid state of mind it would be easy to assume she was perfectly normal. maybe more so a few years ago before her flesh and eyes lost their life and she started to appear much better suited for a grave than society. unlike many people here, the girl had come to terms with the idea of dying in one of these places, like hell was anyone ever going to let her out and she was content with that. she just had to raise as much hell until they got sick of her and sneakily shot her in the back of the head. could you sneakily shoot someone in the back of the head? Surely it would make rather a loud bang…kat didn’t like guns, too messy and they weren’t…personal

her fingers tugged through her hair once more however this time she kept hold of a few stands and curled them around her finger. little things like this kept her hands busy; little things like this kept her mind drifting onto more morbid topics. he should have been grateful she was so fidgety today, made her less likely to get bored when she had the means of amusing herself. “who are you…i m…mean like a patient?” fucking stuttering, she hated to stutter, it made her sound like a bumbling idiot half the time but she couldn’t help it, when uncomfortable her vocabulary seemed to just get stuck sometime like a cd that’s not properly cared for. her question wasn’t out of polite conversation though it did sound rather friendly if not a little timid, instead she was merley curious, covering her own back. though she would doubt this male would fess up to being a staff member if he was doing a bit of lurking…still. this was the only things so far that both confused her and pissed her off, the age variations of the patients were far too vast. In the previous place most of the patients were in their teens or younger even, she was considered to be fairly old there among the other patients though here it made it much harder to distinguish between staff and patient.

at least now he had introduced himself she felt as if she could actually look at him, it wasn’t your normal look of interest though, she was clearly looking him over, judging him even. what he would make use for maybe but instead she drew only few conclusions and useless ones at that. he was a rather pretty individual, had a friendly face if that made sense, almost comforting. he was also not in his teens but not old either, between the ages of about seventeen and forty she would be hopeless in registering an exact age but she would hazard a guess for somewhere in his twenties. she also saw no physical evidence of an illness, now she really wanted to knew what was wrong with him just to feed her curiosity. as she gazed at him in total wonder, wrapped in her own thoughts, mindlessly her fingers ghosted lightly against the flesh of her thigh. pale fingers traced against scars, her small form was littered in them but most resided on her back, stomach and wrists, her legs were fairly free from them besides the few she was currently playing with as she often did. the result of torn flesh from rough play, it always reminded her of the time and it almost always made her smile. it had become such a habit to remind herself about how she received most of her scars, to almost each one she could pin point a name…or at least a face failing that. her own skin though was lifeless enough to blend much of the scar tissue.

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

He really had to wonder what he was thinking sometimes. After deciding not to go try and make friends, here he was holding his hand out to some random teenager that just happened to be in the same room. He wasn't even expecting anything in return. Maybe she'd just look at him strangely and ignore him. Well, then he could have gone on acting like nothing had happened. He felt incredibly out of place right now. It wasn't everyday he went up and introduced himself to someone. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he actually had done that. Usually they people he met already knew his name and there was no need to speak. Now that he thought about it, most of his conversation usually consisted of "Yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am."

While he was so concerned with what to say next, the girl suddenly took his hand. The brief second of contact took Ben by surprise. It was a good start. The only question was, start to what? Ben's gaze lingered on his hand before he pulled it back into his lap. He looked up and the girl, giving her a tentative smile in return. It took him a second to realize that she had given him a name, not the name of an animal. No last name, only what seemed to be more of a nickname. Ah, well he hadn't really expected anything in return so it was better than nothing. "Nice to meet you." Did anyone actually mean that when they said it? It never was nice to meet anyone, especially not around here.

Did he forget where the hell he was? It was quite obvious she was a patient here which probably meant she wasn't as innocent as she appeared to be. She might have been planning on how to kill him and where to hide his body for all he knew. Ben sat back in the chair, wondering what else to say. It already seemed the conversation had lost any hope of continuing. He looked around, unsure of where to keep his gaze. But when she spoke, Ben snapped his attention back to her. He arched an eyebrow in curiosity when she spoke. It was a good question. Who was he? That was an entirely different conversation though. "I'm certainly not a doctor." He meant it as a joke but it was a lame attempt at one. No, he was highly underqualified for that. The only thing he knew how to do was CPR and that only worked if the person was already dead.

Ben shook his head at the thought and looked down at his hand. He'd been unconsciously fingering the empty space where his wedding band used to be. It felt strange not to be wearing it. But he felt like he had no right to be wearing it. 'Till death do you part. And well, he'd pretty much taken care of the death part. The sad part was, it was a lot more effective than a divorce. Sure everybody thought he was crazy but he couldn't have everything now. He scoffed and looked up at the girl. "Just a patient." Ben added softly, as if his previous statement needed clarification. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. It left it sticking up and Ben shook his head, letting his hair fall back in place.

He found himself staring at the girl's fingers, watching them run across her thigh. His own hand reached to brushed across his own arm, running across the tattoos laid out on his skin. Looked like he would never get the sleeve done on his left arm. He rubbed his right arm, tracing the words that crossed his forearm. It was almost ironic now that he thought about it. Bless me to and from my destination. His wife had made him get that when he first left for Iraq. To make her feel better, that's what she had said. And look where that got him. Ben swallowed audibly and bit his lip. He looked back up at Kat, hoping for some sort of distraction. It didn't matter at this point who, or why she was here. He was desperate for anything to keep him from his thoughts. "Just a wild guess, but you're a patient too?"

Okay, so yeah he pointed out the obvious. But the only other question he had would have been "So, what's your problem?" And that would have been far too personal. He could feel her gaze on him. It made him wonder if he'd said something wrong. Or would it have even mattered? She was probably wondering the same thing as him though. What was she here in this place for? He did his best to avoid her curious gaze, which wasn't like him. He'd been taught to always look straight ahead and stand at attention. And that wasn't just in the Army, his dad had made him do that when he was at home. But things had changed now, he no longer felt the need to act the way he was trained.

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

nice to meet you? it was such an overused phrase yet one that never ceased to amuse kat. it was such a blatant lie half of the time, said out of mere habit. she never spoke for the sake of speaking and thought the act itself to be pretty ridiculous. it was entertaining though when some could talk for hours, kat was a keen listener, she liked to listen to people speak as it gave so much away, especially the ones who just wouldn’t stop. it also quite often meant she had to install very little effort into the conversation, sometimes she could get away with not speaking at all. Those were the best conversations. if something didn’t make sense to her, or if she felt obliged to object against a point she would voice certain opinions, her opinions were strong and developed yet she made attempts to understand the views of others. ihe mind was fascinating, people were the in the centre of their own worlds and it was fascinating to see into them. psychology was something that both puzzled and fascinated kat, the minds of others, especially those who were considered abnormal or sick. she didn’t give much thought to her own but when it came to other people she could become enthralled with seeking information, trying to find out little things about them, little things that allowed her clues as to how exactly they functions.

the girl felt no need to give more than what she was most frequently called, what use was her full name, she would do nothing with his and he would probably do nothing with hers if given. it did however safeguard her from his curiosity, maybe on the off chance he even got a glimpse at any files or heard a member of staff mention her by her first name he would not recognize it. paranoia maybe but it was nice to know not everyone knew of her life story. even as he seemed a little awkward in the silence, kat continued to watch him, each little motion he made was assessed carefully until he spoke once more and her gaze lifted to her features. a slight smile curled at just one corner of her lips, half arsed but certainly not fake. katrina didn’t fake smiles, she didn’t fake laughs but instead his comment had tickled her, as if it was blatantly obvious he wasn’t a doctor. for all she knew he was a doctor, a doctor as well as a liar however she didn’t allow it much thought. if she was going to spill her greatest secrets to the stranger then she would fret a little more over his rank however she had no urge to do that, not to anyone. from his actions she could deduce that he had a wife, it wasn’t hard as he peered at his fingers after a moment of playing idly with it. he was missing something from it and only one thing usually went there.

marriage was something kat didn’t quite understand, she was one who firmly believed that marriage was binding yet it was treated like a game. this was why katrina would never marry, the thought of staying with the same person forever was far too ambitious for her like and the simple fact was, nobody would marry her. or at least the freak who would be willing to marry her would have to be just that…an absolutely insane freak of a person.

[/color=567747]“how long were you married?”[/color] she assumed it was over for lack of a wedding right and her curiosity got the better of her, it was unavoidable. the question had left her lips before any conscious decision to do so and no thought given to how it would affect the poor guy. she gave little thought to how her words or actions would be perceived, she liked to think it was because she cared little of what was thought about her but in honesty it was just her childish nature. despite being overly mature of her age there was still a part of her that like a child her absolutely no tact whatsoever and allowed be to be as blunt as hell. her features brightened into a smile once more however this one was more of a smirk and a devious one at that as she seemed on the verge of laughing but gave a mumbled response. “no shit.” to her, as it probably was to him, her status was pretty darn obvious. no staff member would have the nerve to wander around just semi dressed or look as deathly sick as she did, the vast majority of them had this annoyingly healthy glow that just irked the hell out of kat, it made her want to spread her disease; whatever that was supposed to be.

he began to almost mirror her actions, running his own fingers against his skin and kat paused, her hand stopped to rest flat as her full attention was drawn towards him. tattoos always caught her interest, she herself had never had one though it would seem to be right up her street. the closest thing she possessed to a tattoo was scaring, etched into lettering against her skin. just above the hem of her underwear and following the curve from hip to hip was the phrase ‘do not envy a sinner; you don’t know what disaster awaits them’, it was barley noticeable usually unless she made a point of directing someone’s attention there. the text itself was neat, the scars had healed well and kept their form, a friend had done it for her and she quite often traced it with her fingers, always getting a few odd looks considering it was dangerously close to another region. kat sprung from her chair with ease, despite looking rather fragile she was anything but and strode cautiously over to the male. with no sense of personal space she settled on the arm of his chair, her knees brought up to once more rest against her chest though it didn’t affect her balance. one hand head her steady in her place whilst she turned to face ben, her free hand running across his left arm. “do all of them mean something?” giving little thought to him, her fingers traced along the outlines whilst she awaited a reply. she liked being close to people, it quite often made then nervous.
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[BENJAMIN KANST]

It was the one question he wasn't expecting. He didn't realize that he had made it so obvious. Ben froze, unable to answer such a simple question. He looked down at his hand, flexing his fingers. When they started shaking, he clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white. His nails were biting into the palm of his hand but he didn't care. All his thoughts were of Alice right now. And JJ, he was such a sweet boy, so much like his mother. He closed his eyes as the tears threatened to spill. But when he closed his eyes, it allowed the images to play again. He could almost feel Alice's soft touch against his cheek, such a comforting feeling. The pride he felt when JJ spoke his first word. And he lost it all, everything. Five years of marriage, completely wasted. Then they had the nerve to say he was crazy. Him, crazy. All he did was risk his life for their freedom and they had the nerve to call him insane. "Five." He blurted the answer out quickly and looked up at her. Ben took a shaky breath and cleared his throat. "Five years and one kid." A nervous laughter followed his answer, it seemed almost unreal when he said it.

He was hoping that answer was enough to suffice but it only left more questions. His nervous laughter turned into a more sincere chuckle at her reply. Yeah, he figured she was a patient. But her answer didn't really matter to him. He was trying to cover up his brief breakdown at the question. It brought back his guilt for everything, he didn't deserve to live. And he would have killed himself after the murders, but he couldn't. Standing over JJ's body and he couldn't pull the trigger. He was a coward. Just like in Iraq, he shouldn't have survived. His friend had died for him to live and he repaid his memory by ending up in an asylum. He could almost hear his father's voice, scolding him like a child. Nothing Ben ever did was good enough for that man.

That man was the reason he was in here. He was the one who had convinced Ben to plea insane. And then, the second the verdict had come around, the man told the press that his son was dead to him. "My son died in Iraq, he died a hero." That fucker. All his life, Ben had nothing for respect for his father. He hated that man with a passion. Hated. Him. It was his fault Ben joined the army. All he wanted was a life outside the military. Was that so much to ask for? Dammit. Ben shook the thoughts out of his head and forced himself to turn his gaze toward the girl. He never would have thought such a innocent question would torture him so. As he forced himself to focus on the current conversation, he couldn't help as his mind started wondering about this girl. If it wasn't for the fact that she looking deathly sick, Ben could see where she would have been considered pretty. Ah, who was he trying to kid, this train of thought obviously wasn't working.

As if her question didn't throw him off, her next actions practically sent him running. He was too caught up in his thoughts to realize when she first moved. At her touch, he gasped, his entire body stiffening. He sat up straight, his back almost parallel to the seat. Her hand felt cold against his skin and her touch, almost...kind. It'd been a long time since a female had been so close to him. He had to admit, he did miss the soft touch of a woman but he was too afraid to even bring himself this close to anyone. As she traced them, Ben looked down at the one on his forearm. He was young and foolish when he decided to get that one done, it was his first act of teenage rebellion. Of course, now it meant very little to him.

The tattoo was of a simple heart with a banner that read, "Friends Family Music." None of which he seemed to have now. He couldn't help but smile at her question. Most of his tattoos had little meaning to him now. They were mere reminders of his past life. He slowly looked at her, his grey eyes meeting hers. "They used to." Ben managed in a hoarse whisper. "Not anymore." He was starting to get used to her presence and his body visibly relaxed. She posed no threat to him right now, her only weapon were her questions. At this distance, he could see the scars on her body though. But unlike her, he wasn't the curious kind. He wasn't going to mention them.

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

katrina’s ever watchful eyes narrowed at his reaction. she had upset him? it was unexpected but intriguing, his internal struggle was something she wished to draw from him, she wanted to see more of it only she wished for a more outward display. despite her constant need to unwrap those around her and express their vulnerabilities, she fought against the urge to question further. she may have been a sadistic thing but stupid she wasn’t, she knew if she pushed people too far upon their first meeting they would either come to loath her or fear her within an instant. only a few took some sick or pitiful interest in her. those few were usually people with medical degrees who rather liked the idea of a challenge yet failed to see kat as an actual person. it was forgivable though, it was hard to see such a creature as a fellow human especially when they had done countless bad deed, it was probably a war of morals working in this place. kat couldn’t hack it, she was too good at judging people and too terrible as covering up what she thought. within an instant she would probably get the sack and if not then she’d probably end up causing harm to many of the patients…no different than what she was doing now really. it would just allow her more power and kat was dangerous with power, if someone feared her she milked it for all it was worth and absolutely adored the feeling of being in charge. she liked control however she also loved that control to be challenged by the odd person, nothing came close to a good scrap be if verbally or physically.

she laughed, she couldn’t stop herself and she probably wouldn’t have even if she had that ability. she was laughing at him, which considering he seemed pretty lacking in the spirit department probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. wasn’t she meant to give him some little pep talk about how everything was going to be absolutely fine. Instead she shook her head, her fingers crawled back into her hair and tugged at the roots as she leaned forward slightly. “oh my god!” her expression was a mix of amusement and pity, she found him entertaining but like a puppy, completely…helpless. it was a strange thing to draw from a fully grown man, however she currently had no urge to poke him or prod him with sharp objects like she usually would when frustrated but instead she wanted to have a good laugh at him and a right old genuine one at that. “look at you…fuck! you’re worse than me!” this was probably simply because she lacked the empathy to actually feel bad for those she had hurt, frankly she never gave two shits about them but to be fare she cared just as little for herself and her own well being…if not less. she was only still around now because she found such amusement in her own reactions, i mean pain being a turn on, that was pretty fucked up. fucked up but bloody funny as well. She didn’t dare him why he wasn’t allowed to be worse off than her but instead allowed the matter to drop, his spirits, his enthusiasm just seemed to be in the dirt.

instead of moving away or growing bored with him she pushed further, the reactions she initially got from him spurred her on to see what else she could made him do. her fingers moved only slightly to instead draw her nails across his arm, delicately so she wouldn’t hurt him she had no intention of harming him but instead it was a change that occurred with her thoughts. her brow creased into an expression of thought, just lightly but enough to know she was churning something over in that head of hers. her lips pursed into a tight line for just a moment before she spoke cautiously. “you feel bad about what you’ve done.” it wasn’t a question or even placed as a guess but instead a statement. she was telling him and giving little room for him to deny, of course he could make feeble attempts at telling her she was wrong but she knew otherwise. the girl was good at reading people, she could often take things and build an image of the person’s character, even aspects they tried to hide. ben though wasn’t one to help her refine these skills, it was obvious he was guilt ridden about something and it didn’t take a genius to figure that it was probably something he had done to get himself landed in here. she saw people all the time deep within their remorse and shrinking back into it, though she may not have grasped the emotion herself, she still knew it was present in others.

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

All his life, he'd been taught to never show his emotions. He was never allowed to cry as a child. If his father even thought that Ben was emotional, his leather belt would be whipped off and brought across his son's back. Take it like a man. What a load of bullshit. He couldn't even cry at his best friend's funeral. And now, a simple stupid question from this teenage girl had almost brought him to tears. A sign of weakness. It left him confused at this new sudden show of emotion, especially in front of someone else. There was also a hint of, well anger. He was pissed that the death of his wife and child weren't enough to solicit any tears but this, girl. This girl, probably mentally disturbed, was able to bring him to the point of breaking down. He hardly knew her but he was intrigued about what was so different about her. How would she know what question to ask him? Maybe it was a coincidence but at this point, he had convinced himself that there was something different about her. And he wanted to know what it was.

Was she laughing at him? Ben didn't even know how he was supposed to react to that. He hadn't said anything particularly funny. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched her laugh. So far he hadn't seen any signs of her being truly insane but now he was starting to rethink his original impression of her. As she continued laughing, he could feel his temper begin to rise. What the fuck was so funny? He never very good control of his rage. His jaw clenched as her laughter seemed to mock him. It was his fault though, he had decided to answer the goddamn question. Worse than her. And just exactly, what was that supposed to mean? He didn't know what was wrong with her and he still understand why she was laughing. Maybe if he just...ignored it. She seemed to have already forgotten about it, while he was still confused as no other. This was why he was afraid to talk to people, their reactions always worried him. Granted, they were in an asylum and he shouldn't have expected anything different but it still left him very curious about this girl.

He felt like a fucking book. She was reading his every emotion, his every thought. It scared him. It truly, scared him. He was terrified of the thought of someone knowing who he was. Her presence was starting to make him uncomfortable and he was trying his best to cover up his anxiety. It was only a slight change in movement but the feeling of her nails caused Ben to shift nervously. But for some reason, his body was frozen to the spot, he couldn't get up and move. His curiosity had gotten the best of him and he wanted to know what she would do next. He looked forward, straight against the wall as if suddenly fixed on something interesting. It was almost like he was scared of making eye contact. In her grey eyes, he had almost seen a reflection of himself and it frightened him.

A shiver ran up his spine and Ben gasped sharply. At her words, his hand shot out and grabbed hers. He forced himself to turn and look into her eyes, searching them for some answer to an unknown question. "What the hell are you doing?" He hated how easily she could read him. His grip tightened around her bony wrist and he felt that at any second, he could have easily snapped it. "Who do you think you are?" It wasn't like he thought these questions were going to be answered. In fact, he was more than ready for her to laugh at him again. But he wanted to know the answer, he wanted to know more about her. Why was this girl able to get to him when nobody else could? He was close enough to feel her breath against his skin, at least there was some sign she was alive. "Of course I feel guilty for what I've done." His grip loosened slightly. "Do you not feel guilt?"

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

kat probably had the opposite problem, she was always showing emotion yet those emotions were the wrong ones. like her wires had gotten crossed somewhere and what should have made her cry made her giggle, it was frustrating as hell for anyone she grew up with, she was always being told that she was wrong. for once it couldn’t be pinned as a self fulfilling prophecy, being told over and over again made her no more wrong that she already was. kat liked to think she was always going to be messed up, anything anyone did had absolutely no effect on her and she was just born to be one of the world’s fuck ups. she could dwell on how it wasn’t fair but she figured that someone needed to be a sadistic little bitch to make everyone feel better about themselves. consider it, if someone with depression took one look at her or anything she had done to others they’d feel a whole lot better about themselves. at least i’m not a raving lunatic that hurts people for fun they could say. see, she was all about being fair and if she had to be a source of evil or just plain annoyance to make others give themselves a pat on the back then she could deal with that. it was a position she rather enjoyed anyway.

she looked at him rather blankly as he grabbed her wrist, her gaze casually glancing at his hand for a moment before returning to him. she would have maybe been a little more exited if it was an offensive manoeuvre but clearly it was meant for defensive purposes, bummer, she was quite looking forward to making an attempt to get him angry. he had to have some rage in him somewhere, considering he felt guilty about something, that something was almost always a violent something, people who stole money or did drugs just didn’t seem to feel guilt in the same way. it was more emotional, more personal, he had affected another person. that was clear and she would have asked him further if she wasn’t so intrigued by what he was doing. he was blatantly scared, even if he wouldn’t make it apparent, not many people liked to show fear and he seemed to show his in quite a similar way only there probably would a been some blood where kat was concerned, she was a sucker for some drama. she frowned lightly, her brow creasing under the weight at he seemed to be awaiting an answer yet hadn’t even asked a question, it was an odd reaction but the closer she was physically to someone the more confidant she could become; almost arrogant. she didn’t brake his stare, fuck it, if he wanted to search for something that she knew wasn’t going to be there then she wasn’t making any attempts to stop him.

instead of blowing off his questions, he had replied to hers so who was she to ignore him? she had to think though for a moment where his first question was concerned. what was she doing? was there any point to be tormenting the man, she had nothing at all against him. kat wasn’t tormenting him for the sake of making him suffer, despite being told she had a sadistic personality disorder and mentally torturing people sounded to fit the bill quite nicely she was simply curious. it wasn’t her fault that he was getting worked up and giving her some kicks along the way. her lips pursed tightly for a moment, forming into a straight line as her jaw tightened. it was a split second though before she spoke in a rather half hearted tone. “trying to figure you out.” that was all he had asked for, what she was doing and that was exactly what she was doing. her reasons though were her own and varied at that. what else was she going to do around here? talking to people was just about the best thing they had to offer and kat wasn’t the best of talkers. she could offer questions and show interest but usually she would hope the other person would take care of most of the discussion.

his next question didn’t really require an answer, she couldn’t give one because she didn’t know who she though she was, as far as she knew she was just being herself but of course that would have sounded far too cocky to come out with. instead her attention was distracted by the tightening grip on her wrist and she glanced against at his hand but didn’t pull away. it would be a waste to get a broken wrist over so little but she was rather enjoying the aching buzz that it was forcing down her arms at the moment. her glance turned into a stare but snapped quickly back to him when he spoke up again. this time she smiled, only slightly and gave a light shrug to his question. “don’t assume that if you cause harm to someone we’ve all done the same, i have nothing to feel guilty about i assure you.” her tones were calm yet she dropped a sly hint into her comment. she knew he had hurt someone and she wanted to work him up a little more, especially now his grip had loosened and he seemed to be calming down. she didn’t want calm, she wanted him on edge, people were always much more attractive when scared or angry…but that was just a fuck up’s opinion now wasn’t it? she was silent for a moment, almost as if she had given up but instead that questioning look returned. “did you love them…is that why you feel bad?” despite sounding perfectly innocent, she knew she was pushing him.

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

There was no answer behind those grey eyes. Not that he was expecting one. But it would have been nice. Any answer would have done at this point. He felt anger and sorrow but overall, just plain confused. Never had someone been able to elicit such a mix of emotions from him. Not even Alice had done this sort of thing to him. And he felt so very,very confused by this new sudden feeling. How was it possible that such a harmless looking girl was able to evoke such a strange and mystifying response? All he wanted was a single emotion to feel against this girl. Like or hate. Not every single fucking thing in between. He'd always been a very black and white type of guy. It was too complicated for anything else. Everything had to be in simple terms, even if it wasn't, he would find a way. But with her, he had no idea where to start.

She was trying to figure him out? Now that was almost ridiculous. He'd spent many countless nights trying to figure himself out. And he still wasn't able to understand himself. Yet, here was this teenager who seemed to think that she would be able to figure him out. The sad part? She was doing a damn good job of it, making far more progress than he'd ever done. The idea was just so completely ridiculous that Ben couldn't help but laugh. He was probably more angry than anything but the only thing he could do was grin like it was a joke. "You think...you think you can figure me out!?" Ben scoffed, still laughing. "That's fucking rich." Probably the best joke he'd heard in a while. He ran his hand across the light stubble across his chin before turning to look at her, an amused look in his eye. "Since you seem to be doing such a great job of it, tell me then. What exactly have you 'figured' out about me Kat?"

He couldn't stand to be so close to her for another second. Ben let go of her wrist all together and pushed himself out of the chair. All he needed was distance from her right now. But his damn curiosity kept him in the room with her. Room to breath, that's what it was, space to collect his thoughts, figure out what was happening to him. He was vaguely aware of her speaking but he'd already blocked her out. It was too much for him to process. His eyes closed for a brief moment and those fucking flashbacks just came back. How many times had he relived these moments, rethinking every one of his actions. If only he had done this or hadn't done that. A flag. Sand. A photo. Bright lights. Gunshots. Pure agony. No, no. "NO!" Ben forced his eyes open, the dim lighting of the living room suddenly became blinding.

For a brief moment, he could only hear the rapid pounding of his heart and the gasping sound of air rushing into his lungs. With his back still turned to her, his hands ran through his hair, curling around them and pulling. Beads of perspiration had begun to form, trickling down the side of his face. At her innocent sounding question, he whirled on her. "Did...did I love them!?" He wasn't trying to hide his emotions now. Who here was going to judge him in this place? They weren't any better than happen. "Five years! For five years I loved them. And a single week in Iraq. Just ONE FUCKING WEEK...was enough to ruin it all." He was yelling now. "I gave up everything for this country. When I came back, I got a pat on the back and they sent me home thinking everything was okay."

He need to release his anger. But he managed to resist the urge to hurt the only other person in the room. His clenched fist made contact with the wall, leaving a small dent behind. The pain didn't register at first but he was aware of a dull throbbing in his fist. "It wasn't okay. It never was." There was a wrenching feeling in his gut, a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes blurred with tears that threatened to fall. But he refused to show them, not to this girl, not to her. Ben's back hit the wall and he slid down, bringing his knees to his chest. He blinked rapidly and wiped away the tears but they didn't seem to go away. "I did love them. I should have died that week. Not them." He shook his head and wiped the sweat away with the palm of his hand. "I still love them. But I have no right to." Was this exactly what she wanted? Had he played right into her little game?

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

kat smiled just slightly at his reaction, of course she was trying to figure him out, it was the only decent thing to do around this place. she was morbidly fascinated with the minds of the insane, the criminals and the fact that he had harmed people and landed himself in here must have meant he was both. a single brow raised as he seemed to find the idea amusing, what? he thought himself complex, everyone had a few complications and that was half the fun of figuring them out, naming their flaws. the human race just like any animal species tried their hardest to conceal their flaws, they didn’t want to appear weak and everyone seemed to want to be as close to perfect as possible. there were few flaws kat kept to herself, in fact the she had countless but the vast majority of those were characteristics she had embraced. there were still people trying to fight off their disorders or whatever the hell they had but kat was perfectly at home with hers, she realised she needed some amount of pain in her existence to make her happy and that pain had to come from somewhere, if she had been having a rather dull week with few people to irritate in hopes of being hurt she would have to turn to self mutilation. it was a little more boring than her usual methods but did the job.

“i’ve only known you five minutes, i can hardly give a full character analysis.” she trailed off with a sigh and despite only scratching the surface she decided to share. “you’re in a constant state of mourning and self pity…it’s actually quite uplifting for other people I assume and you’re…” despite ready to carry on he wasn’t listening any more and she felt no need to continue. instead she was far more interested in what he was doing now than doing as he asked. even as he moved from the chair, she still stayed perched on the arm, her grey eyes not leaving him. she frowned lightly as he only paced across the room, she would have expected him to have bolted by now, she was after all laying it on quite thick. maybe ben was less fragile than she had thought, maybe he was a little harder to break. despite maybe being more difficult it was still obscured that he stayed near her, maybe he himself was a masochist, he just didn’t like to admit it and these questions that reminded him of those he had loved and hurt were torturing him. her expression narrowed into a frown, it was irritating, these little moments he kept on having. he was clearly seeing something, memories she assumed and she too wanted to see them, it was frustrating that she couldn’t force him to share them.

oh now this was getting to be a good story, the guy had been in the forces? her brow creased in thought, he wasn’t your average soldier, by appearance and by spirit, even if he was now thought to be insane he wasn’t a soldier. “not willingly though, why did you join the army?” her question was calm, her tones rather gentle and her voice almost comforting. despite this being purely for her benefit, a lot of people would quite willingly give up information for her. talking was good for people and for some who felt awkward talking to a therapist it was easier to spill to another patient, besides, she would be looked upon as just another crazy. it took a lot to make the girl raise her voice and it was usually out of choice, for effect. just a few times had people irked her enough to cause her to snap at them in the form of yelling, usually she just used violence as her means of getting her point across, far more effective. clearly the mistake had been sending him home, he must have been traumatised by what he had been through, if she had the ability to, she would probably feel sorry for him but he only managed to intrigue her more and grab her attention.

this was exactly the reason she didn’t love people, it was such hard work, when she found herself growing attached to another individual she would quite often painfully cut all ties. it was a mean of stopping herself from getting too close and mentally torturing herself. she wasn’t just cruel to those around her but it also rubbed off on her own mentality towards herself. she liked herself no more than those she harmed. he was crying? she pushed herself up from a chair and carefully wandered towards him, kneeling just in front of him, she didn’t fully allow her weight to rest on the floor encase he got pissed off and she needed to move. “maybe so but you didn’t die and now you’re stuck here.” she disliked people he loathed things that had already happened and held remorse over things they couldn’t change, maybe it was jealousy to some extent that she had no guilt, guilt would have been nice for it would have only caused more pain. “what do you believe in…spiritually?” now she had relaxed a little and sunk to sit comfortably on the ground, still looking at him though deciding to change the subject. of course it had everything to do with their previous topic but she wanted to see what he believed, it would say a lot about a person, their beliefs.

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

Was she trying to be his therapist? Or was she just screwing around with him? He scoffed at her analysis of him. "With skills like that, you should be a fucking psychiatrist." He continued his pacing and he didn't know what to do with his hands. One moment they were crossed and the next, they were shoved in his pockets. He was restless, he wanted out. His thoughts were becoming terribly incoherent now. It was becoming increasingly difficult to separate the difference between reality and his mind. He absolutely hated that too. He hated not being able to understand himself. But most of all, he hated how she was able to get to him. She was asking all the right, well wrong questions.

The solution to end it was simple, all he had to do was get up and walk away. But a small part of him wanted the company, wanted to know why she was able to do what she did. Looks were incredibly deceiving. Her ability to manipulate people were far more developed than any normal person. Then again, there was a reason they were all in here. "How old are you anyway?" The question didn't exactly have much to do with the conversation but he was curious to know the answer. He still kept talking to her and he didn't know why. Maybe because she was actually listening to him. And that was all he wanted, someone to listen. Even if she didn't care about him, at least she was honest about it. And that was something that was difficult to come by. Honesty was becoming scarce in their society. "I never wanted to be in the Army. But I never had much of a choice." He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.

Every sane part of him was screaming for him to stop talking. Ben took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. "The full story, is that what you want?" His voice dropped down to a normal level. "Isn't that what you're after?" A faint smile crossed his lips. "The only thing I don't understand, is why? Why do you need to know so much about me?" There it was again, his thoughts, just in a more brutally honest kind of way. He didn't want to face the truth. He had lived and now he was serving his time for the crimes he committed. But he didn't want to come to terms with that. There was no place for him to go and there was no future for him. He rested his head on his knees and started blankly ahead at her.

Her next question caught his attention though. It was one he'd often struggled with lately. His eyebrows furrowed, as if the question bothered him. "I..don't know actually." He had been raised Catholic but he hardly followed the religion. His father had found it too repetitive and didn't really care for it. It was more his mother that insisted upon having God in their household. "I think I stopped believing in anything spiritual a long time ago." He shrugged, glad for the change in subject. "Never really saw the point." Church every Sunday was just boring and repetitive. Even as a child he didn't understand the meaning of religion. "I've always believed that those who saw a God were more crazy than we are."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair again. She was in front of him again. There weren't too many places for him to go now. He could have left but he didn't. "What about you?" Ben raised an eyebrow, he didn't know much about her but she knew plenty about him. "Have you...found a God?" There was a slight bitterness in his voice. "So how does this work? I spill everything to you for the hell of it and you.." He looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers. "And I don't learn anything about you? Hardly fair now is it?"

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[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

kat expression sunk into a sulk and her gaze made an attempt to singe straight through him yet sadly failed. a therapist? she took that as a pretty decent insult considering she had a really rocky relationship with that lot, she didn’t mind people asking her things for curiosity sake but these people were paid to find out about her and discover what was wrong, well fuck it, she wasn’t going to do their work for them the scum. when he asked her age though the girl frowned, it really shouldn’t have been such a hard task to recall her age but in all honestly she had absolutely no idea of when her birthday was. because of her anti social devil like ways nobody seemed to want to celebrate the poor girl’s birthday and thus she had lost count several times. Saying that she also lied about her age quite frequently, now she was stuck in here there wasn’t much use to it and she had sat down with a few spare hours not long ago to work it out. She shrugged lightly. “nineteen i think…give or take a few maybe.” age really didn’t concern her all that much, she was going to stuck in places like this for a long time, probably until she died so where was the point in knowing exactly how old she was, it was just a silly marker. she always got strange reactions when she told people she wasn’t quite certain of her age, it was always pity or sympathy even, funny really that people seemed to cherish such a thing. It all seemed kind of pointless to kat.

well he wasn’t a very good story teller, much like kat he seemed to answer any question given to him and refrain for straying from the point. still, it was something, he had been pushed into the army by someone or something even, she wasn’t sure but she was pretty certain she would at some point find out. “i don’t need to know anything about you but I want to.” her expression was a little confused, what other reason could she have for bombarding somebody with questions. she was curious and most of her social interactions contained a good grilling. her gaze stayed trained to him even as the topic changed. she scooted around to sit beside him, her back resting against the wall and one hand brushing up and down the pale skin of her leg as she listened. she may have been weird as hell but you had to give her credit for some things, she was bloody good at listening. kat laughed lightly at his comment however it was interesting his use of the term ‘we’. either he classified both himself and kat in the same category or he meant it more generally which would have put them in the same place as well. not many people liked to think of themselves as being anything like her, she was a whole other type of crazy, it seemed to be acceptable if you were talking to yourself and sitting quietly in the corner but when it got to the point of harming others, people just had a habit of disassociating themselves.

his question was initially answered by a shrug however she then looked thoughtful for a moment. “i don’t think so but…it’d be nice if there was.” she didn’t say this because she wanted forgiveness for her sins but instead she wanted to know that at least when she died she was going to burn in hell for them. right now she was getting away pretty easily with all the hurt she caused and with few consequences, sometimes she would play with someone and their big burley friend would come and give her a good beating for it but that was as bad as it ever got, it was easy, too easy. she just liked to think that one day she would actually get what was coming to her otherwise this world was far more corrupt than she gave it credit for. if there was a god it would make the whole thing a lot easier and hopefully he wasn’t all forgiving because who the fuck needed that? katrina knew the difference between right and wrong quite well, her lines may have been far more grey than other people’s but she at least knew hurting someone was a pretty bog no no, murdering them was an even greater wrong. despite being overjoyed that she could get away with it all so easily now she didn’t want to after she died, maybe if her soul was damned forever then she could sleep a little better at night.

her brow furrowed as he spoke again and she glanced down at his fidgeting hands. he thought she was rude enough to expect all this from him and give nothing in return, of course not! She may have been a murdering psychopath but my gosh, she at least had manners. with a slight smile she shook her head. “no, ‘course not but you haven’t really asked me any in depth questions on myself.” she laughed lightly, smiling at him. “i’ll answer absolutely anything if the favours returned and you haven’t denied me anything yet so…shoot.” she paused her interrogations for a moment and although she would have come across somewhat open and confidant she knew that after he got his teeth into asking her some things he probably wouldn’t find it acceptable to keep her company. then again he was also a murderer, maybe he was just about deranged enough to make him have some strange connection with her.

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

If he wasn't mistaken, she seemed...confused about her own age. He raised an eyebrow at her answer. It seemed like a guess. "So, you're somewhere between the ages of fifteen and twenty-three. Good guess. Don't keep track of your age?" Well he couldn't blame her. Birthdays were a useless waste of time anyway. Sometimes he had difficulty remembering how old he was. He was...what, twenty-six now? Yeah, that sounded about right. A brief thought flickered through his mind and Ben smiled softly to himself. Twenty-six had always been his lucky number. It was almost ironic. The year he turned twenty-six had turned out to be quite a horrible year. In fact, his entire life had been destroyed. He should probably reconsider his lucky number.

This conversation was probably doing him more harm than good. He wasn't exactly the type of person to spill his guts to the first person that came around. Even if this girl somehow compelled him to talk more than he usually would, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her everything. Though...maybe it would do him some good to tell somebody else. He was always so afraid of being judged but here, he didn't have to be. He was still weighing the consequences though. The girl had laughed at his last breakdown, so who knew how she would react to his life story. But then again, if he did tell her maybe if would bring a small amount of comfort to him. He was still skeptical of this girl though, she was a curious one indeed.

He smirked at her response. "I guess that's why religion exists. It's nice to have it." Ben scoffed at the thought, it was just another reason for people to fight. He always believed they were a bunch of hypocrites, condemning this and that, while they did it themselves. But she was right, it would have been nice to believe in something. Maybe then he could have found a scapegoat for his problems. He would have liked to believe that Alice and JJ were in a better place. But that would have meant, there was a very special place reserved for murderers like him. And the people he had killed in war, were they good people with the wrong idea or just the bad guys? It was all too confusing and there didn't seem to be a single religion out there that could explain it all.

Her response was quite reasonable. It was true, he hadn't asked any questions from her. He seemed thoughtful for a second before looking up again. "Fine, I'll tell you my story. You tell me yours. Now, I just gotta figure out where to start." He frowned slightly, running through his memories, trying to pinpoint the moment where it all started. "I was seventeen the first time I tried alcohol." A thin smile crossed his face at the memory. "And I was seventeen when I got hooked. I started drinking, partying almost every other day. My father was the reason I started. I was so desperate to get out of that suffocating hold he had on me. I always was such a disappointment to him. The loser son of a decorated Marine." He laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"First night I came home drunk, was also the first night he decided that I had to join the Army. And let me tell you, the Army works better than any rehab out there." Ben leaned his head back, hitting the wall with a dull thud. "Surprisingly, I turned out to be a pretty decent soldier. Managed to make one good friend and well, they sent me off to fight pretty fast. " He sighed and determined that was a good stopping place for now. Ben turned his head lazily to look at Kat. He stretched his legs out and placed his hands in his lap. "So then, what about you? When did it all start for you?" He was more interested to hear her story than tell his. After all, he'd lived his life several times over and he was growing increasingly bored of it.

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