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Post by BENJAMIN KANST on Dec 4, 2009 19:59:03 GMT -5
Wherever this relationship was going, it wasn't going to end well. No, even Ben could tell that. A part of him still disliked this girl, she was strange, sadistic almost. Sure, he pitied her for never experiencing the life of a normal teenager, though he doubted she would have liked it. But for now, he was impressed by her uncanny ability to read him. As much as he hated her for bringing back some of his worst memories, he felt better now. He'd never told anyone that much before and he found it strange that she would be the first person. Maybe it was the fact that she was a complete stranger, he was always so afraid of driving those close to him away. But now there wasn't anyone close to him, no one cared. It didn't matter if this girl liked him or not, it wouldn't matter. He raised an eyebrow at her suggestion. She seemed to taunt him, knowing that he wouldn't leave. He couldn't, no he needed her now. If she wanted him to be reckless, he needed her to show him how, guide him. "I think we both know that I won't." Leaving wouldn't clear his mind, it would only drive him crazy. He would spend his time trying to figure out what would happen if he hadn't left. So no, leaving wasn't a choice.
He wasn't sure how he liked this slight change in his personality. Never had he been this assertive or uncertain in his decisions. Even when he first asked Alice out, it was only after months of thinking of ways on how to do it without looking like an idiot. He was far too shy to do anything impulsive. But after this his brief time with Kat, he wanted to do something different. She responded, that was a good thing. It strengthened his initial courage and his actions were much bolder now. As her body relaxed against his, Ben brought his back off the couch to meet hers. Despite having only known her for, what, maybe half an hour, this sort of physicality made him feel like they'd known each other much longer. All his thoughts were gone now, he was completely focused on her. The soft feeling of her hand was a moment of complete bliss for him. For the first time, his eyes were closed and there were no flashbacks. He had forgotten how nice it was to be feel...normal. And her movements were so affectionate. But as he thought about it, there was a brief memory of Alice. The kiss suddenly faltered as Ben moved away for a second. His brief moment was quickly covered up though. He covered up his brief lapse by shifting to allow her hand under her shirt. And then his lips were against her again.
Slowly he responded to her, his hands were on her waist now, sneaking under her shirt. His lips parted, allowing her access as his tongue tangled with hers. He ran his hands across the small of her back, running along her spine.At first her touch was caring but that changed quickly. His head jerked back as she pulled, the air being knocked out of his lungs. His throat was painfully exposed. Her hands were now passing along the scars he tried so hard to find. He shuddered as her nails ran along his chest but they were suddenly digging in. His groan was muffled and he quickly pulled himself away from her. He was confused by her radical change in personality, was it something he did? Ben grimaced as her nails continued to dig into his skin, breaking the barrier between skin and blood. The first signs of his blood was starting to show. Her question threw him off, well there was an obvious answer but that wasn't what she was looking for. "What does it look like I'm doing?" His answer was bold, even for him. Almost immediately he regretted it but he smirked at his own audacity. His heartbeat was pounding unbelievably fast now and air rushed in his lungs in ragged gasps."You didn't seem to mind it last time."
Whatever it was, she was kissing him again and he was lost again. This time though, the pain was much worse. As her nails tore down his chest, his cry of pain was stifled against her kiss. The hand on her waist gripped her small frame tightly. He broke the kiss, gasping in pain. But there was an excitement, pleasure from the pain. The indentions from her fingernails were burning, probably bleeding too. He sighed in relief as her hand left his hair. And once again, her touch was back to the softness he enjoyed earlier. He relaxed back into the kiss, confused by the pain but relieved to know that he could still feel the agony. Once again, her nails were digging into him again. It took him by surprise but not as much as earlier. Ben smiled, the kiss becoming much forceful. She was asserting her dominance over him and he was perfectly fine accepting that. He was getting excitement out of this, to him it didn't matter who was in control. In fact, he preferred knowing that she was the dominant force. [/size] |
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Post by KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS on Dec 5, 2009 6:31:29 GMT -5
  his reply only gained him a stonier glare, she had no idea how cocky he was capable of being and it was pretty shocking, irritating even yet equally impressive. he had appeared at first to be so small in persona and easily broken yet the traits he was displaying now were more than kat were used to dealing with. it only spurred her on, despite the ease of her movements her nails still seemed intent on digging out as much of him as possible, it was just a shame she didn’t have anything sharper on her or she would have allowed herself to get carried away. there was a rather delicate line between pain that could be matched with pleasure and mind numbing pain that was far to distracting. it was true that kat had this line much further towards the agonising side than most but at least she was aware that other people had smaller thresholds, what was amazing for her was torture for someone else. that didn’t stop her breaking a person’s threshold at times and even after such treatment the odd sorry soul would still come back to her for more. everything she had done and said to ben thus far was something along the lines of testing the waters, searching for any boundaries however these seemed to be constantly moving. at first he had flinched with the slightest touch but now he was just as eager to communicate it back to her. it was fascinating to see such a change though she wouldn’t dare take credit for them, it was true, maybe she had pushed him towards certain changes but it wasn’t like she was forcing him into an entirely different person. she was simply trying to find the traits she wanted to see in a person and apparently he was equipped with a good few.
with his comment she wanted to tear herself away, if he wasn’t going to leave her alone then maybe she could simply do it to him. despite knowing it would be quite an amusing scenario she couldn’t physically pull herself from him, a part of her still wanted this despite his growing confidence. the better that become though the harder it would be to emotionally scar him. still, she deserved this, the work her tired self had put into this new game was almost painful considering the state both body and mind were in, she needed a quiet week to sort herself out and reach some stage of revival. even the sick and twisted needed to odd break from it all. In response to his hand gripping tighter at her waist, she drove her frame into his, grinding her body against him before she paused. pulling back from him slightly, the hand under his shirt gripped at the material and tugged it over his head, this time there was no attempt to conceal her intentions and despite fluid movement they were rather insistent on what she was trying to achieve. leaning back from him she glanced down at his chest, smeared down it was a small amount of blood. the marks from her nails clear against his skin, small wounds were the source of the blood however it then faded into dark red scratches as less pressure was placed on dragging her nails across him. the blood that was on his chest also resided beneath her nails, the same hand placed delicately over the new marks she had made whilst leasing down to kiss his neck momentarily. her teeth nipping at his collar bone yet not to cause pain.
her free hand left the back of his head and also moved to his chest, she leaned back to peer down at it whilst her fingers drew against his scars, clearly taking a keen interest in them. She didn’t dwindle too long on then though her fascination was clear, so too was the fact that his throwaway comment earlier would not be left to rest. she was going to find out how they were made. “woah…beautiful.” her comment was indistinctly muttered, whist people naturally found things appealing in the opposite - or same - sex, scars weren’t usually one of them. a body however that had physical signs of former hardships though, to her, were simply breathtaking. the hand that explored the scars on his chest delicately continued whist her bloody fingers of the other snaked up his form leaving a distinct trail behind them. knotting once more in his hair, she tugged back with the same force as earlier however this time her lips pressed to his throat, firstly kissing against his adam‘s apple, her tongue tasted his skin, pressing firmly to it. much of her gentleness was still missing though she had momentarily stopped harming him. her trail of kisses moving to the his neck and down to his collar, her hand freed his hair and instead snuck down. slipping herself back just a little, both hands lowered to his pants, firmly pressed against his inner thighs she squeezed her fingers into the material, pressing against the skin underneath. working their way up teasingly she had stopped just before his groin.
instead of shifting her fingers higher, her hands skated around that particular area and looped into the hem of his pants, tugging herself momentarily closer, she moved against him earning a slight moan from her lips that still attacked his neck. It clearly wasn’t enough though. with ease she undid them however one thing stood in her way of taking them off, the slight issue that he was still sitting in them getting in the way. pulled away from neck she kissed his lips briefly before giving him a murderous smirk. a jerk down of his jeans and tugging them as low as possibly whilst still sitting was a firm indication of what she wanted him to do. in short she wanted him to fix the slight issue she had come across, the only thing now getting in her way. the lack of privacy didn't phase her, the had been used to it for quite some time and couldn't give two shits about the chance of someone walking in on them. she wouldn't dare take him back to her room to become a little more bold, it was far too personal for her like.
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Post by BENJAMIN KANST on Dec 5, 2009 13:19:45 GMT -5
It took him a while to figure out. This entire time he had been thinking that Kat was changing him into a different personality. But his own comment had brought back earlier memories, he had displayed such cockiness, but merely the first time in a while. He had almost forgotten about his life before the Army, before everything had happened. It had been so long since he'd been anything other than obedient, that he forgot what it was like to be reckless. The Army was what changed him. He had once been an ignorant teenager, hateful of rules and always longing to find someway to break them. Before his father forced him into the Army, Ben had other dreams. School had never been his strong suit but music was. He even had a brief period where he was in a band. It didn't last long but he loved every minute of it. In fact, that was the reason he had been so eager to rebel against anything his father did. His father refused to let him have any involvement in music, he absolutely despised the creativity. On the other hand, his mother encouraged him. That was probably what drove his parents apart. And Kat had brought this back out in him. His mind flickered briefly to thought of his parents, oh and his sister. Geez, it'd been years since he had last spoken to her, what maybe...eight years? Ben's father had made sure to cut off all contact between him and his sister, he was too bad of an influence on her. But he was here now, he probably would never see her again. He shook the thought out of his head, it was stupid to even bring back memories of his sister. She probably had a decent life, she'd always been better in school than he had.
Besides, there were much more interesting things than thinking about his old life. The only thing he wanted back from that time period, was his personality, nothing else. And the way he saw it, Kat was the only way he was going to ever taste that sort of freedom again. As her body ground against his, he groaned, leaning his head back. His body was responding to her and his jeans were restricting. The sudden tugging on his shirt made it clear what she wanted. He was too eager to help. Pushing his back off the couch, he pulled at his own shirt, helping her take it off. For a second he almost forgot how to take a shirt off and it was more just random tugging in hope that his shirt would somehow be removed. Finally, they managed to get it off and he fell back against the couch, the material coarse against his exposed back. He followed her gaze down and saw the scratches she had left behind. The deep red welts looked strange against his pale skin. A brief image flickered across his vision, bruises across his skin, his body, broken and bleeding. He gasped at the feeling of her teeth brought him back to the current time. It took him a second to remember where he was. He hated those moments, brief flashes of older memories. They normally only lasted for a couple of seconds but there were moments where they would last hours. He was sure it was possibly for them to last longer but he wasn't exactly eager to find out. In the last five minutes, he'd already had two moments like that. He knew what he was doing now was dangerous, bordering on idiotic.
He didn't understand her fascination with his scars. They had always been an ugly reminder for him. He stiffened as she ran her fingers against her skin. Although he told her that he didn't remember, the way he got those scars were still clear in his mind. He could practically feel the pain of the chain used to beat him. Another brief flash. He was almost thankful for the pain associated with his head being forced back. But her kiss was cutting off his air supply. He was left gasping for air as she moved down to kiss his collarbone. The air rushing into his lungs was burning his throat. His hand was against her abdomen, ready to push her away if necessary. He was starting to wonder what he was getting himself into. Now she was dangerously close to him. His hand wrapped around the material of her shirt as her hands starting moving up. He took a sharp intake of breath, his head leaning back and a moan escaped his lips. When she tried pulling down his jeans, something about the motion snapped him back to his original self. This was going against everything he'd ever been taught. His relationships were never based off lust. And this was the first time since Alice that he'd ever been this personal with someone else. No, this was going far too fast for him. This was so incredibly wrong.
And just like that, he pushed her away. Ben stood up, hit with a wave of extreme guilt. He knew it was extremely bipolar of him but he couldn't go this fast. Being reckless, impulsive, all of it would take time for him. As much as he tried convincing himself he was ready for change, he knew he wasn't. He took a few steps away from the couch, his back to her. The scars on his back were much more predominant than the ones of his chest but he didn't care about that right now. "I can't. I can't do this." He turned around, looking for his shirt. Quickly, he pulled his jeans back on, zipped them up and buttoned them again. His urge wasn't satisfied but he couldn't go through with this. He spotted the black shirt, discarded on the floor and he bent down to pick it up. He needed to clear his mind, maybe pawn a cigarette off someone. "I need to be outside." With that, he walked towards the door and opened it, forgetting that he didn't have a shirt on. Numbly he walked towards the first open door he saw. Sure, there were probably wardens ready to stop him but he'd deal with that when he had to. For now, he needed fresh air and he didn't care if Kat was following him or not. [/size] |
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Post by KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS on Dec 7, 2009 15:29:42 GMT -5
caught up in what was happening it didn’t click that his hand wrapped in the material of her shirt was a clear sign of his uncertain state of mind. it had been a means of him forcing her away earlier and yet she didn’t note it. the moment she had noticed his change of heart was the second that he pushed her away and she allowed it. sitting back into the couch, instead of saying anything she simply stared at him, a gaze that was at first bewildered but soon turned vicious, angry, trying to pierce through his flesh. unfortunately for kat she didn’t have super cool laser eyes or anything that would help her burn straight through him with her glare. she wasn’t angry at him though, this anger was turned in on herself, she cured herself for being so ridiculously eager. watching him trying to gather himself and collect his shirt, she didn’t say a word, she had pushed him enough and wasn’t willing to take it any further. what was there left to do, rape? that would be pretty difficult considering he could easily shove her off. pity really, rape would be a pretty good crime to add to her already lengthy and violent list. she didn’t even answer him when he finally picked up the will to leave, it only made her more irked with herself. standing up she paced towards the door shortly after he left and her feet automatically went in the same direction before she had to stop herself. a frown furrowed her features as she glanced down as if in question of why her feet had suddenly decided to overpower her own will, since when had she turned into a lost puppy? it was truly pathetic of her.
“fuck.” she cursed through gritted teeth at herself and balled skeletal digits into tight fists. this was his fault, his fucking fault she was an absolute mess. he had been the perfect opportunity to fuck with and yet rowan hadn’t been in any fit state to mess with anyone. her sickly appearance was not even normal for her, though it matched her persona rather well, she at least looked a little more vibrant than this normally. she had taken advantage of an opportunity that had turned around and taken advantage of her weaker state. she needed to fuck some helpless little loser before she could trust herself to be in control. it was all so obvious, like a slap in the face, she had known this all along but there was something about ben that was so desirable and that desire was never an appreciated one. those she longed for never seemed to crave her attention in return for her longing often lead to quite terrible things. still, she wasn’t worried for his welfare but she was pissed off. he had walked away, he had ended this encounter and it had irked the shit out of her. how was she meant to have complete control over an individual if they felt enough freedom to walk away from her? this was terrible, mind numbingly shit and it was all because so was so bloody eager. ro wanted so much to mess with someone she had overlooked the fact that she could push someone too far, emotionally.
his still wore his wedding band around his neck for fuck sake, that should have been clue enough. standing fixed to the spot for several seconds, her gaze fixed to the door he had wandered through. following was tempting though she knew herself to be above such an act, she wasn’t needy or at least she didn’t like to give the impression. despite her brilliantly independent and loner status, she was actually rather a needy person, constantly needing reassurance that she could still mess with people. that imbalance lodged within her and wanting to hurt and wanting to be hurt she was never sure what to do. the smart thing would be to leave him too it, maybe then when she encountered him next she would at least be on form and it would give him time to get over their initial meeting. on the other hand it would give him a chance to think things over and he could possibly go down the route of resenting her, even loathing her. her intellect had apparently kicked back in and she turned on her heel to go back to her room. something firm stood in her way though and she had turned right into another person. without even considering that stranger she had shoved them aside carelessly, not in the mood to deal with some idiotic nobody. she needed time to think, time to gather her thoughts.
maybe then she could come up with a use for her newly acquainted friend. most of the balance however rested with him despite how much she hated the idea, if he decided he wished to avoid her from now on then she wasn’t one to chase, she would have no choice than to allow her pride to win. either that or she could just bump her attempted murders up to two, if she was lucky she could even succeed this time, that would be pretty fun.
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