* in the name on tragedy, OPEN

[KATRINA ROBYN MATTHEWS]

was she hiding? no of course not. did she want to be found? probably not. kat was torn between her own company and making nice with some of the other patients for she was a pretty cheery little thing for the day. it had taken her weeks to settle however it was clear the process had been achieved. sickly pale flesh seemed to have a little life to it, you could swear she now almost had the ability to blush although getting her to do it was another thing. her eyes had some form of their natural green tones back and she didn’t look quite so in need to a good sleep, in fact one could even stretch to say that she looked quite attractive. her eyes had been neatly outlined in eyeliner, careful not to create her normal tired and smudged look for today she was in a fresh good mood. the source to this good mood though was not a certain someone, it wasn’t even those pills they were trying to force down her neck but instead it was what rested within her hands. a bottle of jack, not the best of poisons to be fair but hell, it was alcohol wasn’t it? the small, secluded space offered the girl solitude and protection to keep her drink to herself, she wasn’t selfish, she would share however getting her prize taken from her would be a terrible thing. it was staff she was on the lookout for and she figured the best place to hide from staff was stupidly close to them down the basement. it was after all where she had gotten her precious item. some silly nurse had rushed from their room leaving the door ajar, kat was fortunate enough to witness such an event and decided to have a snoop around. first she had taken the bottle of jack, it had some already missing though was mixed in with an array of booze and probably wasn’t going to be missed.

it didn’t stop there though, she had a brilliant idea and snuck into the bathroom where she was to find a razor, well most females owned a few she figured. making sure the member of staff had spares so it wouldn’t be missing she made her exit and closed the door behind her to stop any suspicion. with her newly gained possessions she skipped off to bed like a good girl and now she was here. mid afternoon as she had woken up late, the first stop was the dingy little storage room. in the far corner of the room were stacked tables, old and crooked, piled up in twos. the top unit had been placed upside down with the legs protruding into the air. It was here she was perched, sitting back on the table with her back pressed to one of the legs. with suck determination and such concentration, her first task was to dismantle the razor, as if she was planning on using it for cosmetic purposes, she wanted to play with the damn thing. it snapped in her hands and she managed to slip cutting her palm open, it only dribbled blood pathetically and so she was able to concentrate of the task at hand for the moment. removing the blades, she tossed the useless plastic aside and sat back once more. bringing her hand to her face so she could see it better, she frowned, the initial cut obscured by the slow dribble of blood. with her free hand, and without looking she unwound the lid from the bottle of jack daniel’s. lifting it to her lips she took several gulps before she could feel it’s warmth fill her, see, now this is what she needed. alcohol was far better than any drug, it made her instantly happier, calmer and usually a lot safer however armed with razor blades to play with that wasn’t a given.

her slender form was clad in a pair of grey skinny jeans that had little to n colour left in them, worn to the point of one knee having a pretty gaping hole in it and loose threads lazily hanging and tickling the skin that was bared. a black motorhead shirt framed her upper torso, stopping short of the hem of her jeans as most of her shirts did. she had a leather jacket as well but that was currently used, propped underneath her to sit against the dirty table. her feet wore a pair of old chucks, red canvas and the white laces were undone making them a loose fit indeed but comfortable of head. her locks had been brushed back as always by her fingers, recently washed and still slightly damp from her earlier shower. it wasn’t like kat to be so organised, it was extremely out of character for the girl yet she knew today would be a good day. either she would hide out for hours and get absolutely legless on a bottle of jack alone or she would get caught with her sneaky prize and have a good old fight on her hands with a member of staff. it was a win, win situation really hence her pretty decent mood. the early afternoon as she had risen from bed was consumed with a feeling much like excitement as she looked forward to her little treat planned later on. her items had been hidden in the store room and she was glad, ecstatic even to find them still there the following day. now, they were safely in her clutches.

bottle still in one hand, she brought her injured one closer and drew her tongue across the wound to remove any traces of blood. now with a better view she could see it wasn’t going to be fatal, just a rather clean and shallow wound. unable to stop herself, she placed the bottle down, her fingers idly probing the broken skin and attempting to force their way in. digging relentlessly into her own flesh, it bled more yet she didn’t stop, it instead spurred her own and her nails were used to extend the small wound into a rather lengthy one running the entire width of her palm almost. it was fascinating, painful and more than anything arousing yet kat had learned to deal with such a thing. for someone who harmed herself to such an extent she had to deal with not seeking pleasure every time she did so. now it was just an irritating, thrilling burn that she could force to that back of her mind and replace with the pain that was searing through her hand. she frowned and removed her fingers from the laceration, now bleeding a little more substantially, she held her harmed hand over the side of the desk and watched as the blood steadily pooled on the worn out ground. her attention quickly turned to her other hand and she removed the traced of blood beneath her nails delicately with her tongue. almost instantly her hand landed back on the bottle and she drew it to her lips for another drink. completely at ease, the bottle rested on her lap, still within her grasp as she tilted her head back to rest against the wooden leg. slowly her eyes closed with comfort and had fist opened to reveal a bloody palm to the cool air, her expression flinching at the sudden draft to it yet forcing it to remain open as she allowed the fluid to continuously drip down her finger and too her floor. today was going better than she had planned.

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